The Builder of My Life
Change, the unexpected, and spontaneous events are not things that settle well with my spirit. Every Saturday, I set aside time to look at my Google Calendar and sort through the various color-coded events of the week. I use red, yellow, light blue, purple, and green for pretty much everything I’m doing. It’s a very satisfying system.
I’m a natural planner—I need to know what’s next. I feel the most security and peace when I know what to expect for the day so I can plan to be productive.
To me, productivity means I’m building a life that I want—because I’m in control.
I often ask myself: “What am I doing today that will return to me—profit me and my life?”
The only thing is...
I’m not in control.
And my life shouldn’t be built on what I want.
It really shouldn’t even be built on what I think—because truly, what do I know compared to the Sovereign Maker of the universe?
“Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit’—yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.’”
I can identify a few defaults in my human nature:
High expectations for myself and others
Planning/control as a means of feeling secure
Productivity as a source of worth
Performance/image focus for selfish gain
Consider these questions:
How often do I lose the present moment because I’m planning for the future?
How often do I miss the Holy Spirit because my own desires remain unyielding?
How often do I create the outcome I want and waste my time, energy, and effort?
How often is my work in vain because it’s not led or built on what God wants for my life?
If you’re anything like me—Type A and a people pleaser—you may relate to some of these tendencies. One question I’ve been wrestling with is:
How do I keep the desire to control situations, events, relationships, and life from controlling me?
Who is the Builder of my life?
I need this daily reminder of who I want as my builder, architect, physician, teacher, and friend.
“ Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.”
My faith must reflect my belief that:
If it’s not God’s will, I don’t want it.
If it’s not for His glory, I don’t want it.
If it’s not done in love for Him, I don’t want it.
If it’s not God—I. Don’t. Want. It.
This is how I let go of control: I die to myself every day, and I live my life for Jesus Christ.
“Then Jesus told his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?’”
I don’t pick up what I want.
I pick up His cross and follow Him to what He has for me.
Abundant Living Application:
Add to your daily prayers: “Let Your will be done, not my own,” and let it settle into your heart.
Write down the current situations in which you’re trying to take control or plan ahead. Then reflect:
Why do I feel this way?
How can I surrender this to God and trust Him fully?
